WACKY WILDLIFE
What do you get if you cross an angry sheep with a cross cow?
An animal that is in a baa-d moo-d!
Sam F, Godalming
What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
Cream quackers
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog and and daisy?
A collie-flower
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs
The other day, a man walked into a pub with his pet giraffe.
He left the giraffe at a table and went to the bar to get some drinks.
But the barman saw the giraffe and said: "Oi! We can't have this lyin' here!"
But the man replied: "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
Emily, Elstead
Why can't leopard play hide and seek?
Because it's always spotted
Why are horses good at cleaning?
Because they can hoof-er
Maya, Warfield
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Humphrey
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie-talkie
Is the squirt from an elephants trunk powerful?
Of course, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people in the air for hours
Which pet is the loudest?
A trumpet
What animal can jump higher than a building?
Any animal, buildings can't jump
What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?
One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache
What do you call a puma using a photocopier?
A copycat
Did you hear about the leopard that had a bath every night?
It was spotless
What do you get if you cross a dog with a TV aerial?
A golden receiver
Why couldn't the pony sing himself a lullaby?
He was a little hoarse.
Why does a flamingo only lift up one leg?
Because if it lifted up both legs it would fall over!
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The moo-seum or the moo-vies
What do you get if you lie under a cow?
A pat on the head
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull dozer
Why are elephants so wrinkly?
Because they take too long to iron
What sound do hedgehogs make when they hug?
Ouch
What kind of haircut do bees get?
Buzz cuts
What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A watch dog
How do orangutans go downstairs?
They slide down the banana-sters
What do you call an ape that works in a call centre?
A who-rang-utan
What's an apes favourite month?
Ape-ril
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a great white shark?
An animal talks your head off
What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
An 5 metre tall toothbrush
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A wooly jumper
What did one wolf say to the other?
Howls it going?
What do you call a dog that's having it's hair washed?
A shampoodle