WACKY WILDLIFE
What do you get if you cross an angry sheep with a cross cow?
An animal that is in a baa-d moo-d!
Sam F, Godalming
What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
Cream quackers
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What do you get if you cross a sheepdog and and daisy?
A collie-flower
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Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs
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The other day, a man walked into a pub with his pet giraffe.
He left the giraffe at a table and went to the bar to get some drinks.
But the barman saw the giraffe and said: "Oi! We can't have this lyin' here!"
But the man replied: "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
Emily, Elstead
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Why can't leopard play hide and seek?
Because it's always spotted
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Why are horses good at cleaning?
Because they can hoof-er
Maya, Warfield
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What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
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What do you call a camel with three humps?
Humphrey
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Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
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What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie-talkie
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Is the squirt from an elephants trunk powerful?
Of course, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people in the air for hours
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Which pet is the loudest?
A trumpet
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What animal can jump higher than a building?
Any animal, buildings can't jump
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What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?
One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache
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What do you call a puma using a photocopier?
A copycat
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Did you hear about the leopard that had a bath every night?
It was spotless
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What do you get if you cross a dog with a TV aerial?
A golden receiver
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Why couldn't the pony sing himself a lullaby?
He was a little hoarse.
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Why does a flamingo only lift up one leg?
Because if it lifted up both legs it would fall over!
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Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel
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Where do cows go for entertainment?
The moo-seum or the moo-vies
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What do you get if you lie under a cow?
A pat on the head
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What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator
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What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull dozer
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Why are elephants so wrinkly?
Because they take too long to iron
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What sound do hedgehogs make when they hug?
Ouch
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What kind of haircut do bees get?
Buzz cuts
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What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A watch dog
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How do orangutans go downstairs?
They slide down the banana-sters
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What do you call an ape that works in a call centre?
A who-rang-utan
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What's an apes favourite month?
Ape-ril
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What do you get if you cross a parrot with a great white shark?
An animal talks your head off
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What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
An 5 metre tall toothbrush
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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A wooly jumper
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What did one wolf say to the other?
Howls it going?
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What do you call a dog that's having it's hair washed?
A shampoodle
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