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What is wrong with you if you keep checking the travel news but can't drive any where?

You've got car owner virus

Sam, Brixton

What do we want?

Racing car noises

When do we want them?


Otto, Godalming


What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour

What did the traffic light say to the truck?

Don't look, I'm changing

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

Tim Vine

What do you do if you see a spaceman?

Park your car, man.


What's a bus' favourite chocolate bar?

A double decker

I bought a car made entirely of wood

It wooden go

How does jack frost get to work?

By icicle

What has four wheels and flies?

A rubbish truck

Some people say I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

Why did the bicycle keep falling over?

Because it was two tyred

Did you hear about the frog that parked on a double yellow line?

It got toad away

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