CAR CHORTLES

What is wrong with you if you keep checking the travel news but can't drive any where?

You've got car owner virus

Sam, Brixton

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What do we want?

Racing car noises

When do we want them?

Neeeooowww

Otto, Godalming

 

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour

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What did the traffic light say to the truck?

Don't look, I'm changing

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"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

Tim Vine

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What do you do if you see a spaceman?

Park your car, man.

 

What's a bus' favourite chocolate bar?

A double decker

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I bought a car made entirely of wood

It wooden go

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How does jack frost get to work?

By icicle

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What has four wheels and flies?

A rubbish truck

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Some people say I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

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Why did the bicycle keep falling over?

Because it was two tyred

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Did you hear about the frog that parked on a double yellow line?

It got toad away

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