top of page


What did the grape say when he got stepped on by an elephant?

Nothing, he just let out a little whine

Why did the biscuit cry?

Because its mother had been a wafer so long

Sam F, Godalming

Where did the spaghetti go to dance ? The meatball

Sam F, Godalming

What is the fastest cake in the world?


Anwen and Thomas, Godalming

How do you know if an elephant has been in the fridge?

He left footprints in the pate

Annelise E, Italy

How do you know if an elephant is in your fridge?

His tricycle is parked outside it

Annelise E, Italy

What did the baby corn say to mummy corn?

Where's pop corn?

My friend thinks he's clever and he said "onions are the only fruit or veg that can make you cry...

so I threw a coconut at his face!

Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Cash who?

No thanks I prefer walnuts

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm.

What do you call a pizza with only one slice of pepperoni?

A pepperloni

What do dogs have on their pizza?

Extra pup-peroni

Why did the teddy bear not eat her pudding?

Because she was stuffed

Why did the tomato turn red?

It saw the salad dressing

Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it's cold out here

Customer: Waiter, this food tastes funny.

Waiter: Then why aren't you laughing?

Customer: Is there spaghetti on the menu today?

Waiter: No, it's been cleaned off!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A blood orange

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

What room can nobody enter?

A mushroom


What's white, sweet and swings through trees?

A meringue-utan


Why did the jelly wobble?

Because it saw the milkshake

bottom of page